My car is being repaired. The insurance company phoned to say it should be ready on Friday. You might predict that such an exchange would go:
Company person: Mr Spence? Just phoning to say your car should be ready on Friday.
Me: OK, thanks.
In fact, it goes like this:
Emily (for it is she): Hello, this is Emily from Megacorp insurance speaking. May I speak with Mr Spence?
Moi: Yes, speaking.
Emily: Is it all right for yourself to give you an update on your car repair, sir?
Me: Yes, please do.
Emily: OK, first I need to go through security. Can you confirm your full name, please?
Me: Robert John Spence
Emily: Great (she thinks it's great that I know my own name?) Now, can you give me the first line of your address?
Me: 3 Acacia Avenue Manchesterford
Emily: And the postcode?
Me: MZ56 OPQ
Emiy: Fantastic. (she thinks it's incredible that I know my own address?)Now I have to inform you that all calls may be recorded for security and training purposes. Is that all right for yourself?
Me: (wearily) Yes.(thinking- what if I say no, I can't be recorded, as I believe that a part of my soul will be taken away from me?)
Emily: OK, now I am phoning to update you on the current position with your car. The current position is that....(long pause whilst she searches for something on screen) your car should be ready on Friday. It may not be ready by Friday, but Honest Joe's garage are telling us it should be.
Me: Oh, right.
Emily: Are you satisfied with that update, sir?
Me (under my breath): Ecstatic. (Louder) Yes, thanks.
Emily: Is there anything else I can do for yourself, sir?
Me: Please go away. (I didn't really say that- I said No, thanks. Goodbye)
End of call. That's what I call service.
Company person: Mr Spence? Just phoning to say your car should be ready on Friday.
Me: OK, thanks.
In fact, it goes like this:
Emily (for it is she): Hello, this is Emily from Megacorp insurance speaking. May I speak with Mr Spence?
Moi: Yes, speaking.
Emily: Is it all right for yourself to give you an update on your car repair, sir?
Me: Yes, please do.
Emily: OK, first I need to go through security. Can you confirm your full name, please?
Me: Robert John Spence
Emily: Great (she thinks it's great that I know my own name?) Now, can you give me the first line of your address?
Me: 3 Acacia Avenue Manchesterford
Emily: And the postcode?
Me: MZ56 OPQ
Emiy: Fantastic. (she thinks it's incredible that I know my own address?)Now I have to inform you that all calls may be recorded for security and training purposes. Is that all right for yourself?
Me: (wearily) Yes.(thinking- what if I say no, I can't be recorded, as I believe that a part of my soul will be taken away from me?)
Emily: OK, now I am phoning to update you on the current position with your car. The current position is that....(long pause whilst she searches for something on screen) your car should be ready on Friday. It may not be ready by Friday, but Honest Joe's garage are telling us it should be.
Me: Oh, right.
Emily: Are you satisfied with that update, sir?
Me (under my breath): Ecstatic. (Louder) Yes, thanks.
Emily: Is there anything else I can do for yourself, sir?
Me: Please go away. (I didn't really say that- I said No, thanks. Goodbye)
End of call. That's what I call service.
Photo: Doug8888
8 comments:
Love it!
P.S. Didn't you nly just get this car? What do you *do* to them?
I have a difficult relationship with the horseless carriage. I don't *do* anything to them - they have minds of their own. I blame those onboard computers.
hmmm most disconcerting "for myself" to open your blog and find Crazy Man Michael playing. I've been a fan of Fairport since my teens, and this song tugs at a heart strings.
But - that aside, had a great night at The Met, Bury last year with them - and see they're playing again in May http://www.ents24.com/web/event/1663297/Fairport_Convention.html
nice little venue - don't know if you know it
Oh - and PS, is the car fixed for yourself now?
Sturdy German engineering?
Hi Mary - I know Bury, but not the Met - may well see you there.
The car was, I am ashamed to say, damaged by myself, as Emily would put it, and has been expertly repaired. Japanese engineering, Petal, but made in Sunderland.
I've come over all excited to see R L Burnside in your playlist.
Steady, Petal- he is dead, you know...
I just didn't expect him, who knows why. I like what he said to someone who mentioned he'd been accused of murder: "I meant to shoot that man in the head, but him dying was between him and God".
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