I was sent some publicity material by the academic jobs website jobs.ac.uk. One of the items is a calendar, on which is printed a series of patronising "tips"- sample tip for writing CVs: "Don't use meaningless introductions". Doh! THAT's why I never got that vice-chancellor's job!
My favourites, though have to be the number 1 and number 4 top tips for CVs:
1. Don't apply for a job your not qualified for
4. Don't forget to check for spelling and typos
My advice- don't go to jobs.ac.uk for advice...