This story beggars belief - or rather, it would, if it weren't yet another example of topsyturvydom in our culture. Let's see, now. What would I do if I had a chair that emitted farting noises when I sat on it? I'D GET ANOTHER BLEEDING CHAIR!!! This woman's a deputy head - she could order a new chair, or just pinch one from somewhere in the school. I'm sure the lawyers love it, though, as more taxpayers' money is spent in an utterly futile cause.